[Scene: The Keaton Living Room; Elyse, Steven, Mal, & Jen are talking]
Jennifer: I'm actually kinda relieved Alex is gone!
Mallory: Yeah, I hear you. No more viewpoints of his!
Jennifer: Andy, just make sure you don't turn out to be another Alex!
[the family shares a laugh]
Andy: But I miss Alex! I barely got to know him! Mom, you should have had me
sooner!
Elyse: Well Andy, we can't really control what order you came out in.
Andy: But you can control when we come out. right?
Steven: Well. sorta.
Andy: Sorta how?
Mallory: Jennifer, remember that project we had to do?
Jennifer: Oh yeah. we better be leaving the room!
[Mallory & Jennifer enter into the kitchen]
Andy: Well.?
Steven: So how about that stock market? How did it do?
[Andy glares at Steven]
Steven: Okay, all right! I'll tell you!
Andy: Oh goody!!
Steven: See. I guess we just didn't pay the stork enough money, so it took
longer for you to get here!
Elyse: Steven!!
Steven: Well if you want to tell him then go on right ahead!
Elyse: But you started telling him. so you finish!
[Andy walks into the kitchen without Steven or Elyse knowing]
Steven: But you wanted to tell him the truth!
Elyse: But you're the man of the house, and he's your son!
Steven: (Steven notices Andy is gone) Uhh. where is Andy?
Elyse: He must have left.
[Scene: The Kitchen. Mallory & Jennifer are talking, and Andy is walking in]
Jennifer: So what are we gonna do on our first Alex-free day?
Mallory: I dunno. I thought we could turn his room into our very own beauty
parlor.
Jennifer: But I'm not obsessed with artificial things, and beauty. like you.
Mallory: What's that supposed mean?
Jennifer: Well. I worry about more constructive things.
Mallory: Like what?!
Jennifer: Academics, the environment, academics, current events, academics.
Mallory: Okay, so I'm not very smart! But I'm extremely breathtaking!
Jennifer: Well don't hold your breath too long. your head might get as big as
Alex's.
Andy: Hi Mallory! Hi Jen!
Jennifer: Hi Andy, what are you doing?
Andy: Just being sad.
Mallory: Why would you be sad at a time like this?
Jennifer: Mallory, he actually LIKES Alex! It's unknown as to why, and very
strange, but he's sad the pompous, stuck up, young republican goon is gone!
Andy: Hey! You don't say that about my brother!!
[Andy storms out of the room]
Mallory: What's the matter with him?
Jennifer: I guess he's taking Alex leaving really hard.
Mallory: Why would anyone in their right mind do that?!
Jennifer: Well. I'm thinking Alex brainwashed Andy while he was in his
vulnerable childhood years.
Mallory: That sounds like something that manipulative, big-headed,
overconfident, money lover would do!
Jennifer: He was obsessed with money, you've got that right.
Mallory: Hey, but remember that time he made dollar bill wallpaper, and we stole
all of it?
Jennifer: Oh yeah, I remember it just like it was yesterday. He was in his room,
[The screen starts to change to a flashback scene with Alex in his room with
Jennifer]
[Scene: Alex's room, six years ago]
Alex: Jen, what exactly happened to my precious money wallpaper?! It was worth a
fortune!
Jennifer: I don't have any idea what you're talking about Alex!
Alex: Oh yeah? Well. well. Moooooom!!
[Elyse walks in the room]
Elyse: What is it now Alex?
Alex: Jennifer stole my money wallpaper!
Jennifer: I did not!
Elyse: Are we talking about that huge, dirty, eyesore you taped on the wall?
Jennifer: Yes, I think that's it. (Jennifer giggles)
Alex: It's not funny Jennifer. It was worth one hundred and thirty seven dollars
is all!
Elyse: Actually. I know who stole it.
Alex: Who was it? Tell me now!!
Elyse: Well. all of us.
Alex: What?!
Jennifer: We decided we wanted to eat at a fancy restaurant.
Alex: And you even went without me, even with MY money?!
Elyse: Yep!
Alex: How. how. how. could anyone be so cold-hearted?!
[Mallory walks into the room]
Mallory: We're just kidding Alex! We didn't spend it!
Jennifer: Actually, we got you a present.
Alex: Really?
Mallory: (hands Alex a box) Sure. we can at least be nice to you on your
birthday, I guess.
Alex: (opens the box) It's. my money wallpaper! And. a lot more! Enough to cover
my whole wall maybe!
Elyse: How do you like it?
Alex: Well, I don't. See, I made that wall paper so I wouldn't spend the money,
because I'm saving up for something.
Jennifer: Really?! And we went through all that work?
Mallory: Taping. taping. and more taping.
Alex: I guess you did!
[Alex walks out of the room laughing. Mallory & Jennifer sigh and start
taking the tape off the money]
[Scene: The Keaton living room. Steven & Elyse are talking]
Steven: Well Elyse, we've moved out one of our kids.
Elyse: Yep. three more to go.
Steven: That many? I thought it was only two. (sarcastically) Oh darn.
Elyse: Oh Steven, it won't be that bad.
Steven: But they'll be here forever! We'll never get any peace and quiet.
Elyse: Well, we'll get a lot more of that though, now that Alex is gone!
Steven: Oh that's very true.
Elyse: And Mallory, she's probably moving out this Fall.
Steven: And Jennifer's almost done with high school.
Elyse: But at the rate we're going now. she'll stay at home for college!
[Steven sits on the couch with Elyse]
Steven: It's gonna be a long road Elyse, but we can make it.
[Steven & Elyse kiss]
-FADE OUT-
Last Updated (MM-DD-YYYY): 07-15-2002